But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Success! We fucked roommates!
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize