dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
