franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
