Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
