the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
