I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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