marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
