ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
