Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
