I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
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