they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
That's when you crack a 10am beer
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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