It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
