I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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