what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
