I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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