I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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