he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
