I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Drunk is not a location!
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
