I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
