Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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