yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
