if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
