the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
