508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize