Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Sober January is a disaster.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
