pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize