I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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