Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
