Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
me + whiskey = a bad person
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
