i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
