i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize