It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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