The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
