Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
