No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
