I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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