I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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