I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
