I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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