My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
