I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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