I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
