let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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