So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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