none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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