next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
