dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
