How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
