I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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