i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
