i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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