Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
