we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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