sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
