He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
