If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
