if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
