Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
