that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
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