plz talk dirty to me
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
