well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
