Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
