VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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