i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She tied me up with her honor cords...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
