I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
